I was employed as a sales director. Every morning, I had to announce the staff members’ sales achievements. Everyone had to reach a certain sales goal, and whoever failed to meet the goal was punished. All we did revolved around fame and profit.
However as much as I longed for success which meant accomplishments and money, I was not really happy during this endless journey. Though I could gain more or less what we aimed for, stress and anxiety were covered in my mind. I realized I had not thought enough for my clients and my staffs, and had become a selfish, unforgiving and demanding person.
In one of those gloomy days, a friend brought me a book by Master Li Hongzhi named Zhuan Falun. The book of self cultivation made me think that I needed to improve myself and to remove the attachment of pursuit. I was pained because of my unwillingness to let go the attachments of seeking fame and profit.
Tempering Oneself
Cultivation is about cultivating the mind and does not require me to really lose any material things. I found out that I needed to temper myself in the material world to keep myself away from materialism. If I was not attached to material things, they would not bother my mind and I would find peace again.
My work was extremely busy. In addition, I took on work to promote Shen Yun, Performing Arts shows of classical Chinese dance to revive the lost world of traditional Chinese culture. I thought about quitting my job as a sales director and doing a regular sales job so I could have a more flexible schedule to host Shen Yun promotion activities.
Putting into action took me hesitation. However, after I made the decision to quit my sales director job, I felt very light.
When I first started to host Shen Yun promotion meetings, few people purchased tickets. I was wondering why this was the case. There must be something that I did not do well.
I looked within and found that I cared too much about my appearance and my job title. Only with these in place was I able to have the confidence to face people. It was actually an excuse for my attachments to fame and profit.
I was only focusing on what status I had among everyday people. Am I thinking of others’ benefits or validating myself?
I had to cultivate myself well. I began to study the Fa diligently and send righteous thoughts well. The number of people purchasing Shen Yun tickets during the promotion activities I hosted grew every year.
Struggling With Negative Thoughts
I was hosting a tea party to promote the Shen Yun Symphony Orchestra in August this year. My mind drew a blank when I had to speak. Part of the reason was that I was not familiar with the introductory materials about the orchestra, and I did not have enough experience hosting this kind of activity. I left soon after the tea party was over.
I felt ashamed and kept blaming myself. I was thinking, “Maybe I was not suitable for hosting the tea party. My reaction was slow, my communication skills were poor, and my responses were so bad. I’d better not host it next time.”
Contrary to my expectations, the coordinator asked me to host another two tea parties, both on the same day in September, as if nothing had happened. But I still struggled with all kinds of negative thoughts.
Master said:
“If you regret it too much then that’s another attachment. Once you’ve done something wrong, seen where it was wrong, and recognized it, then do it well next time, do it over. If you trip and fall, and just keep lying there instead of getting up, (audience laughs) then that’s no good.” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Lantern Festival”)
Master’s Fa washed away my human notions and encouraged me to let go of my depressed feelings.
Giving My Best Effort
This time, when I was asked to host a tea party for the Shen Yun Orchestra, I told myself to give my best effort.
I memorized the host information about the Orchestra. I studied the Fa more and sent righteous thoughts to get rid of all negative thoughts.
The event went smoothly. The attendees listened carefully. At the second tea party, attendees paid close attention to what I said, and many tickets were sold.
A man who attended the party told me at another event, “Your hosting was very well done at the last tea party. You’re very well-spoken. I felt so comfortable watching you.” I knew Master was encouraging me.
Taking Gain and Loss Lightly
I endure tremendous suffering to remove my attachments to fame and profit during my daily work while reading the book and practicing Dafa everyday. I care less about what I could gain and what I could lose, become more considerate of others.
A true cultivator does not lose anything materially as long as he or she truly acts based on the requirements of the Fa.
I now focus on my work to promote Shen Yun as I think Shen Yun helps people find beauty and peace in their busy lives. My sales achievements are not the best, but they are much better than before. My living conditions have not been affected. I feel that true happiness comes when one lives without pursuit.
(Minghui.org)
